Sarah Palin's horrible basketball analogy

Now since the moment Sarah Palin first graced my television set it has been readily apparent that the woman had little grasp, knowledge or even interest in basic international affairs, domestic issues or the workings of government in general. But who knew that this former high school basketball player was ignorant about basketball as well?

This reality came to me during Palin's most recent speech, wherein she said she would not seek a second term as governor of Alaska (very sad, I know). During this speech she said the following:

Let me go back to a comfortable analogy for me - sports... basketball. I use it because you're naive if you don't see the national full-court press picking away right now: A good point guard drives through a full court press, protecting the ball, keeping her eye on the basket... and she knows exactly when to pass the ball so that the team can WIN. And I'm doing that - keeping our eye on the ball that represents sound priorities - smaller government, energy independence, national security, freedom! And I know when it's time to pass the ball - for victory.

Now as someone who eats, drinks and breaths basketball, one of my biggest pet peeves is when the game is somehow desecrated (yeah I know this is subjective but I really like basketball). Whenever I see a movie or TV show with a basketball scene that's not true to the game, with obviously shitty players hitting ugly jumpers and dribbling around nonexistent defenses, I flip. And this awful basketball analogy is no different.

So let me rant on this...

First of all, a good point guard does not "drive through a full court press." Full court presses are not beaten by one player dribbling through them. They're beaten with ball movement, passes from the sides to the middle of the court. A shitty point guard will try to dribble through a press and usually end up getting trapped and turning the ball over (unless the press is really, really badly executed...and I mean bad).

A weak man press can sometimes be beat by the dribble. If a good ball handler gets inbounded the ball, the rest of the team can clear out (bringing their defenders with them) to the other side of the court, essentially taking the press with them. But this rarely happens in good man presses. Good coaches usually keep one more player in the backcourt (who does not follow his man who clears out). This freelance defender then helps trap the ballhandler. Thus, the best way, again, to beat this press is through quick ball movement (passing) down the floor.

And then Palin says a good point guard keeps her eye on the basket during a full court press. Actually, a good point guard keeps her eye on where her teammates are and where the openings are on the press. It's not like you're going to nail a cross court shot during a full court press. Why would you keep your eye on the basket?

But wait, then the female Forrest Gump says "and I'm doing that - keeping our eye on the ball that represents sound priorities - smaller government, energy independence, national security, freedom!" Keeping our eye on the ball? A point guard should never keep their eye on the ball. They should keep their head up and eyes active. Oh god, I'll stop already.

Palin you ruin everything. Now basketball?! Ah!

Thus ends my basketball rant.